Our
ITV jinx theory is beginning to look more and more factual, as England looked far more comfortable with the nation glued to the
BBC rather than ITV. The evidence – just like the John Terry/Salmon news (see below) – is almost impossible to deny.
| Channel |
Played |
W |
D |
L |
F |
A |
| BBC |
14 |
9 |
4 |
1 |
15 |
2 |
| ITV |
10 |
3 |
6 |
1 |
12 |
8 |
| Both |
8 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
14 |
9 |
(Results since 1982)
Thankfully the England vs. Germany game will be on the BBC, while ITV shall be doing what they do best - showing another wonderfully exhilarating episode of Midsomer Murders. A TV ratings war is surely on the cards?
In other news, an official undercover investigation by Dreamscape Design has revealed that England centre-back John Terry is a salmon. Suspicions were aroused when the Chelsea captain dived head first – in a “classic salmon” style - in a heroic attempt to block an attempt on goal by Slovenia.
Salmon is the common name for several species of the family Salmonidae. Salmon live along the coasts of both the North Atlantic (one migratory species Salmo salar) and Pacific Oceans (approximately a dozen species of the genus Oncorhynchus), as well as having been introduced into the Great Lakes of North America.
However, Terry hails from East London. We spoke to the leader of the Marine Conservation Society at Warwick University, Chris Fisher, who said: “It is my personal opinion that John Terry is definitely an astonishingly unique variation in the Salmondae family...as they don’t usually have arms.”
Good enough for us. The F.A. is yet to comment, but it is believed that salmon has since been removed from all future England squad meals.
Finally, well done England! You made us proud.
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