Nike have categorically denied ruining football.
Their World Cup advert featuring Wayne Rooney, Theo Walcott, Frank Ribery, Ronaldinho, Didier Drogba, Christiano Ronaldo, and Fabio Cannavaro is rumoured to have cursed everyone featured in the advertisement.
The players in the advertisement have struggled in the tournament. Rooney and Ronaldo were knocked out in the first knock-out stage, while Drogba, Ribery and Cannavaro pathetically crashed out in the group stage. Ronaldinho and Theo Walcott didn’t even make it to South Africa.
An angry fan in South Africa said: “They have ruined our World Cup. All these players played like had tiny little girlie legs.”
Nike, best known for exploiting their cheap overseas work force, had previously denied jinxing golf superstar Tiger Woods.
A Tiger Woods spokesperson told us: “Tiger Woods was obviously ‘influenced in some way’ by Nike. He had previously thought that women ‘smell and look a bit weird.’ It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if Nike turned out to be an evil superpower with mind-blowing techniques...a bit like David Blaine.”
We have contacted the German Football Association requesting that they consider Nike as their kit manufacturers. They are yet to respond.
Football-wise, the Quarter Finals kick-off today with the exciting Holland vs. Brazil match-up being shown in the afternoon “graveyard shift”, while the Uruguay vs. Ghana being shown this evening. Typical!
Saturday sees the English forget about that minor scuffle in the 80s, the Falklands war, and cheer on Argentina against the Germans, while Spain are delighted have received a free passage into the Semi-finals with a match against Paraguay.
Spain, as you will remember, were our pre-tournament prediction. We just hope that the jinxed Cesc Fabrigas (who also appeared in the Nike ad) is kept off the field. *Adelantado, Espana!
*Come on Spain!
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