We propose the startling revelation that ITV is a jinx on the England team! This blog analyses the facts and finds the answers in a shocking investigation...
The BBC’s World Cup coverage is looking magnificent in comparison – despite even the presence of Alan Shearer, who is a prime example that years of heading a football can cause serious brain damage. This is despite the best effort of everyone’s fave ex-business journalist, Adrian Chiles, who has been brought in for £4 million to attempt to make the ITV coverage remotely bearable. He has failed.
Matters haven’t been helped by ex-footballer
Robbie Earle in recent days, who played in one of English football’s greatest ever teams: the 1990s Wimbledon side, who lost his position as an ITV football pundit. Earle had apparently passed tickets to a third party, which were then used by a Dutch beer company for an ambush marketing effort featuring 36 models pretending to be Dutch footie fans. Oooo la la.
However, Dreamscape are big fans of Dutch girls – for example, you should see James and Nev’s private DVD collections. For many football fans, this was undoubtedly the highlight of the World Cup so far, as the competition is yet to burst into life and we have been forced to watch Franck Ribéry sweating. Therefore we forgive ITV and Robbie for this lack of professionalism.
To amuse yourself during the non-Dutch fan football boredom, why not take part in our quiz? Can you name the one thing worse than ITV’s World Cup coverage? Well, it’s obviously ITV’s online World Cup coverage – which is a truly horrific, blurry, and bewildering experience for anyone crazy enough to switch from the BBC iPlayer. Well done! You answered correctly.
As this is a World Cup blog, we had better briefly mention the football results and news; Spain lost. Brazil won. France lost and most importantly Germany lost, missed a penalty, and got their best player sent off! Err...plus English football’s greatest ever import and “blonde witch” - Diego Folan – currently has Forlanmania gripping people in commentary boxes everywhere and is in danger of becoming the only fan club to seriously rival Justin Beiber.
Other news about Diego was also revealed, via ITV’S
Clive Tyldesley during his South Africa vs. Uruguay commentary, that he is a “Twitter addict”. However, further investigation on his Twitter profile -
http://twitter.com/diegoforlan_ - revealed that he has posted 8 tweets since 4th January, which is about as prolific as his Manchester United scoring record! No need for therapy just yet then, Diego. More ITV blunders? Or is Diago Forlan just a big liar? Sadly we may never know.
Anyway, getting back to the main focus of this blog, the BBC also has an interesting record proving that ITV should be kept away from broadcasting England games with 10ft err....vuvuzelas.
England plays better on the BBC – the proof. (WC Games since 1982)
| Channel |
Played |
W |
D |
L |
F |
A |
| BBC |
13 |
8 |
4 |
1 |
14 |
2 |
| ITV |
10 |
3 |
6 |
1 |
12 |
8 |
| Both |
8 |
4 |
1 |
3 |
14 |
9 |
Case closed. We could enhance our case by mentioning Gareth Southgate’s shirts, but that is worth an entire blog post on its own.
England try to break the jinx against Algeria on the Robbie Earle-less ITV at 7:30pm tonight.
Related Posts:
